One month sober
Date Published January 28, 2022
It’s been one month since i made the decision to stop drinking alcohol for a year, but so far it’s made my life better, a bit weird and different, but better on a whole.
I did plan to just update as and when I did something relevant to drinking, or when I had a realisation about my life relating to sobriety but once I realised how often that’d be, I decided to just do a monthly round up.
This month, we talk about experiences that i’d usually have drank alcohol like going to wetherspoons, going out, having drinks in the flat. We go over my thoughts and feelings on what’s went well, what i’ve found more challenging and potential solutions. Then, to wrap up I give my overall thoughts so far then talk about what’s going on in February to be excited to be going sober for.
Experiences
Wetherspoons
Once all my flatmate were back in Leeds, we all went to wetherspoons. For me, usually this involves a few socialable pints and then couple of other drinks like rum or vodka. But not this time. Instead I tried Alcohol Free Strawberry and Lime cider, which to be fair was actually really nice but just really sugary and sickly after a few. But once i got sick of them, i just switched to fresh orange and lemonade.
As for how the night went, I thought it went great. I didn't really feel much difference in social-ness. All of my flatmates and friends have been really supportive which made it so much easier just to relax a bit without having to have a drink first.
The only issue of that night was that I got tired quicker and felt the effects of it stronger that just made me want to talk less than what I usually do.
Sober Night Out.
This wasn’t really planned and I thought that I had until the end of the month to prepare myself for it, but it was fun and nice.
Before I get into it, I feel I should confess that I just don’t really like going out. I mean I like it more once i’m actually out, but including any anxiousness or negative feelings, it’s just a net negative in mind.
Anyway, we all went out with two of my friends that came down and surprised me and it’s was really fun. I actually think i enjoyed it more when I was sober. While I was sober, I found that once I was in my own head I took notice of that and brought myself back.
The only major issues were:
- Like Wetherspoons, I got tired easier but weirdly I found it easier to just get through the effects of that tiredness.
- I did feel tempted to drink. When I didn’t I felt a bit out of place and started to ask myself things like “why am I even here, when i could be back in my room” and “why am i even doing this”
Thoughts/Feelings
✅ What went well
I feel a lot better day to day.
On a whole, I just feel better. This is a bit of a cop out, but I just can’t quite pinpoint why or how but I just feel good each day.
I generally have more energy
Apart from the times i don’t eat enough or haven’t slept enough, I just have a ridiculous amount of energy which is always nice to have.
My mindset and mood is more consistent
This one is hard to explain directly. I’m usually quite a motivated and driven person but I still have days that I could think of nothing worse than getting up at 6am and then doing exercise shortly after. But with that in mind, I find that across the board those days are less frequent or are easier to overcome.
I have more control/agency over my emotional responses.
I’m a big believer that our attitudes about our circumstances dictate whether they are good or bad. Since going sober, I’ve found that I don’t get compromised as easily and can maintain a positive or growth-orientated outlook on things.
No hangovers
Need I say anymore. #flex
I don’t feel as awful with little sleep.
One night i stayed up with my flatmates for a bit and had about 4/5 hours sleep. Then the next morning I still got up at 6, did a 12 mile run, then after a 15 minute nap felt fine and ended up staying up until about 5am because we went out on the night.
😓 What i’ve found challenging
It feels a bit weird when others are drinking
Something about not drinking when everyone else is, is just weird. I feel a weird tension between wanting to still go because my friends are important to me and wanting to stay behind and do something else. Then irrelevant of which i choose to do, I still get FOMO (The fear of missing out)
Solution - I think I just have to accept that especially at our age and being at university, alcohol is a big part of the experience. Maybe think about which one I feel the most fulfilled and then figure out a way to do more of that, but not neglect the other.
I find it harder to switch off .
I think that a lot of the time alcohol acted like a cue to shift into a different mode, where I switch off from thinking about whatever i’ve been learning about or an idea that I had that day. Because since going sober i’ve found it harder to switch off. It feels like my mind is going about 100 miles an hour, which is good when I’m focused on a task, but not so much when I’m with people or going to bed.
Solution - I’m not really sure how to solve this, maybe I should try journaling or meditation that would help me make sense of all the noise and what i’m actually thinking about and then get it out onto paper so I can start to work on it.
Overall Thoughts
Overall it’s had a really good impact on my life so far. For me, the benefits of going sober far outweigh any of the drawbacks.
Would I recommend to others? Absolutely. For one main reason:
- I think that we tend to have things in our life that just end up there, not really by much conscious choice every time we choose to engage in it. These things can incidentally work for us or against us. Take stock of it and try go without for 30 days and see what happens. Worst case scenario, you can always add it back in.
What’s going on next month?
February looks like it could be quite an exciting and challenging month. There’s a lot of birthdays including my own 20th. I’ll also be back at University from the 31st of January, which the stress that brings will need to be managed in some way without the use of alcohol. There’s also potentially a new project that i’ll be a part of which is exciting but also makes me nervous and will put more on my plate. Then there’s just life in general and all that throws at us.